Calming Our Inner Critical Voices

        Our inner-critics, although they now seem only to torment and batter us, originally came into being to protect our small and vulnerable selves. They came to prevent us from doing things and being ways that threatened to bring upon us more frightening and dangerous external criticism. This external criticism might well have also threatened us with withdrawal of the love and support that were essential for our survival. Click to Continue…
  
Though this inner-policeperson usually speaks to us in the harsh and judgmental tones of the larger culture, it does this still with the intention of pre-empting the possibility of such criticism coming at us from the outside world. When the critic is badgering us, it is important to stop and ask inward: "Who's scared?" and,  "Honey, what are you afraid of?" and, "What can we do to make it safe for you to go ahead being all of you right now?"

At the very same time, it is important to help detoxify and calm our inner policepersons. We do this by encouraging them to begin to question the messages from the larger culture that continually push us to do or go more, bigger, better, further, faster, yesterday in order to feel worthwhile, valuable or loveable. And, if we are women, it helps to also question the cultural messages that tell us – at the very same time – not to feel too full of our selves, not to put our selves first (ever), not to feel empowered, not to be so emotional, not to be so concerned with process. We can gently encourage our inner policepersons to consider if these are really such healthy values to accept and to adhere to.

Choose the card below that speaks to you in this moment.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Speak Kindly to Your Self

Committing our selves to the practice of speaking kindly and lovingly to our selves; trusting that change and growth flow more readily from tender nurture than from drill-sergeant criticism.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Applaud Your Self

Honoring how much more richly we grow and flourish as we practice being kinder, gentler, more acknowledging and celebrating of our selves.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Growth is a Process

Becoming more generous with the pace of our unfolding as we come to understand that growth is an ever-ongoing process, not an achievement or the reaching of Nirvana.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Procrastinating

Recognizing that what looks like procrastination (to outside eyes) is usually a sign that either we're asking our selves to do something that's not right for us to do at all, or not right for us to do at this moment.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Vulnerability of Power

Practicing to hold our selves safely in the face of resentful responses to our acting from our empowered fullness in a world in which power is typically perceived as power-over, as limited in availability.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Power of Vulnerability

Claiming and honoring our vulnerable, emotionally responsive, relational natures even as the patriarchal white male paradigm encourages us to devalue and disown these sources of our deepest empowerment.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Loving Acceptance

Understanding that the loving acceptance we so desperately seek from others can come only from our very own selves.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Doing Better

Accepting that we are always doing the best we can with the consciousness available to us in this moment and celebrating the baby steps along the way of our unfolding.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Judging Someone Else

Recognizing that what we judge in someone else is most often something we have disowned in our selves; using such times as opportunities to acknowledge/embrace those disowned parts of our self.

Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22 Kristen Ruth Smith 5/26/22

Judging Differences

Becoming more spacious and generous with our selves and others around differences; learning that difference need not be directional (e.g., good/bad, more than/ less than).